Sunday, 27 August 2023

Looters Alive!

A semi-remake screenplay containing brand new dialogue not heard of in the original tv episodes which spawned it. 

While writing about his growing fascination with jungle wildlife, James Parker gets muddied over by a grumpy gorilla named Muyo, who in turn gets pestered and chased off by his daughter Terkina. Otherwise, he goes into the treehouse cafe to clean himself. 

James Parker - Oh My Gawd. I wonder why the hell are gorillas being drawn as if they’re looking like ogres? Such a thing may itself become a travesty within a few decades. 

Linda Reed - Oh really, James? You seem to ramble about wild animals, aren’t you? 

Mercy Hudson - Some locals of the jungle have been making folktales about apes (referring to just gorillas and chimps) and other animals for centuries. 

(Tarzan intro ‘Two Worlds’ by Millane Fernandez and Chris Madin) 

Since his friends have been spooked off by a leopard before, no one can trust Snakehead.

Meanwhile, a former pirate named Demauzer tells his less trustworthy friends about the gorilla he unwillingly killed for bushmeat. To remind the dudes of how powerful the black market can be, he asks about what it’s like to be a mere lout in a sea of corruption.

Demauzer - I have turned an old gorilla into bushmeat by killing her, and such an event has somewhat fucked up my frigging mind for days. Then again, we’re young ex-pirates who do our best to survive the worst of times. Where are we doing down there? 

Meanwhile, Sheeta the Panther chomps on an old duiker who likely has died of natural causes while minding his business, which is likely because she merely thinks Woro was a deadbeat Dirtbag! 

7 minutes to 28 minutes 

Tarzan wakes up in a flimsy pup tent and reminds himself of the dangers he still faces. 

He then tells a bunch of gruff and distrustful gorilla strangers (including Muyo) of the good news that Demauzer, the former pirate who unwillingly turned Terkina’s mother into bushmeat, has to retire for good, taking care of his own dying mother and father. 

Muyo - ‘Although my wife Marcia has died in such an untimely situation; we’re just gorillas so we don’t understand what comes from the crappy yellow journalism style gossip filled hype machine, something which truly and horribly mocks us as supposedly hyper aggro animals.’ 

Terkina - 

He’s been rummaging and crafting a bunch of things before; a big spear and a little spear, a hand axe and a quiver, a survival knife and a sling, a bow and a bunch of arrows, plus various other weapons on his disposal. Unfortunately, he simply can’t have all of them anymore. Instead he has to trade off both the little spear and sling to a new neighbour named Vera, who already is a knife nut to begin with. 

Tarzan - Where are you, fucking varnish monkeys! You’re going to be flunked by the mighty banana bender as soon as I’m back home. 







No comments:

Post a Comment

The ahead of time and relevant tradition of a Tarzan and his adopted kids needs more vindication than ever!

Dear Disney’s Tarzan fans, I think it’s still for the best that Disney’s Tarzan needs to have an unrelated adopted kid first, which is perha...